Searching for Answers

“But how can people call for help if they don’t know who to trust? And how can they know who to trust if they haven’t heard of the One who can be trusted? And how can they hear if nobody tells them? And how is anyone going to tell them, unless someone is sent to do it? That’s why Scripture exclaims, A sight to take your breath away! Grand processions of people telling all the good things of God! But not everybody is ready for this, ready to see and hear and act. Isaiah asked what we all ask at one time or another: “Does anyone care, God? Is anyone listening and believing a word of it?” The point is: Before you trust, you have to listen. But unless Christ’s Word is preached, there’s nothing to listen to.  Romans 10:14-17 (The Message)

 

It seems I have been searching for one thing or another my entire life! First searching to find my ‘missing piece’, that something I could not name.  Driving fast forward in focused pursuit for satisfaction; trying on a variety of costumes for size, tugging at shirts that didn’t quite cover, dragging the hem off of ‘too long’ jeans, covering my pain with over-sized garments never meant for me to wear.

Finally, discovering this empty place inside that was shaped in such a way it could only be filled with the God who created that empty space;  a perfect and completely considerate Creator who thought me out in advance. And His finishing touch was this space inside of me that nothing else would fit; intended by Him and only for Himself.  Because He loves me that much.

This moves me more deeply than anything.  It causes me to stop and ponder the greatness of a God who would create this way for every single soul of His creation!

I see Him dancing in the heavens, splashing His paints and brushing with furious then gentle strokes, wide, thin, sweeping, grand and extravagant gestures; highlighting those most important pieces, enhancing shadows with His light and making us each in the most intensely purposeful way!  Oh, He IS the good Creator! Beauty explodes everywhere He touches!  His Music is blasting while He completes His very best works! And He is smiling.  Pleased with what He has made, He smiles and His smile lights up the entirety of His creation.  Ahhhh.  THIS God.  This is the One I love with all my heart and soul.

So while I search, He answers me with all sorts of unexpected and delicious surprises such as this imagination.  Words I never thought, but suddenly speak.  Things I do not know on my own, but that He shows me lovingly, this understanding that can only come from His Spirit to mine.  Dreams that come to me while I sleep and return to my mind in the waking hours speak His thoughts to me.  Over and over He answers in these and so many more ways that my soul is overwhelmed.

And the only reason for any of this is for His Glory. He wants me to see Him, to know Him, and by this knowing I am able to be used to glorify Him in all of His wonder.

I get it now, and it is completely liberating, giving me total rest in the truest understanding of the phrase, “It’s Not About Me”, and to which I whisper, “Thanks for that. What a relief!”

He shows me all of His beautiful names and attributes; Creator, Helper, Sustainer, Healer, Redeemer, Almighty, Wonderful Counselor, Master, Provider, Deliverer, Everlasting, Eternal, Peace, My Rock, My Shepherd, King, The Name, Husband, Refuge, Shield, Dwelling Place, Fortress, Strong Tower, Judge, Hope of Israel, The Lord Our Righteousness, God Most High, Father, Abba, and if these are not enough, you may want to search out the rest for yourself.

Tell me how, after considering all of this, could I ever desire to do anything else, but to glorify this perfect, amazing and mind-blowing God!

So now He answers me on a day when I come with yet another list of questions.

When I inquire of Him constantly for the details of my daily movements.  When I say, ‘I only want to glorify you God!’  Then He asks me the question that changes everything.  He gives me this thought to ponder and with it, peace washes over me.  To ‘be still and know that He is God’ becomes effortless, no longer an impossibility.

He speaks and says to me, “What is there to understand but this?  Who I AM and Who you are in ME.
It truly is that simple.     And easy to do because I accomplish it all.       I perform it in and within you.
Now, say no more that you do not understand, say only, ‘I call on I AM that I AM.’
I know everything and you know me.  What else do you really need to know?
Thank you, Lord.  I call on I AM that I AM.
With Love & Belief,
Jill
“Glorify the Lord with me; let us exalt his name together.”  Psalm 34:3 (NIV)

2 thoughts on “Searching for Answers

  1. Marianne says:

    What a beautiful description of our loving Creator! What a beautiful expression of our searching and His loving patience! I am smiling, peaceful and basking in I AM that I AM. Thank you Jill for sharing this beauty.

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